These Nights Keep Me Alive

It's officially summer. I slept with my fan on and my window open. (And an extra blanket, since it's actually NOT officially summer yet.)  We had another bonfire last night, the second of the season.  It was wonderful.  Aaron and Mr. Ridley and I were talking about shooting stars, then I looked up... and we all saw the most brilliant meteor I've ever seen.  Thanks, God.  Yup, You're awesome. I remember now.

We ate way too many Twizzlers, I snuggled with Judah for a bit, took some pictures.  The stars were more brilliant than they had been yet this summer.  I found the Little Dipper, and declared it officially summer.

Bry came around 10:30, so we laughed and conversed and whatnot... Just us three friends, sitting on a wooden swing, staring at fire.  I couldn't believe it when I pulled out my phone and it was 12:03... three minutes past curfew.  I drove home with my windows down, listening to some music... Oh, such a great night.  I told Mom I was home and went to my room.  There's something so relaxing about a bonfire; I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.  That hasn't happened in a long time. :)

On A Lighter Note

On the happier side of things...
I'm done with school.
I took the SAT.
I'm going to Kalamazoo this weekend to babysit.
I've got my Hillsdale week scheduled.
I'm going to see The Classic Crime and Ivoryline on Wednesday.
Peru is only 42 days away.
Gorgeous weather.

A Brief, Childish, Girly Rant

Prom.  It's just a dance.  It's not even that important.  I've had people tell me that they wish they wouldn't have gone.  Those who are older and wiser say that it doesn't matter.  I'm homeschooled, so it's not really an option for me anyway unless I make a lot of extra effort.  The Homeschool Prom was a maybe, if I tried hard enough.
I tried.  Things didn't work out, my group fell apart.  I really didn't care.  (really.)  Until now.

My best friend just sent me a picture of her dress, and several other friends have pictures on facebook of their dresses, their dates, their dance, their food, etc.

And I *am* a girl.  I don't even dance.  But I enjoy (on the rare occasion) getting dressed up, having someone do my hair and makeup, taking 1000s of pictures in one evening, being told I'm beautiful.  I like posing with friends, making special mixes, and buying picture frames, and being sparkly. I am a girl after all.

I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself and others that I'm different, that I'm not into stuff like that, I'd rather study/just be friends/not dance/wear jeans.  And normally, that's true.  But apparently, I'd really like to go to a flipping prom.  I'd really like to take way too many pictures, slow-dance to a cheesy song, wear an uncomfortable dress, and eat a meal that's not that great.

Tonight, at least, I wanna be normal.
Dang it.

Blue eyes, you're the reason for my change.

This past weekend was so, so, so good. I'm not going to try to recap all of it, because I would fail.  However, I will share some pictures *in absolutely no order*... because I'm addicted to Piatt Lake.

Almost summer :)

Our version of the polar bear plunge.

Home.

Sunset+Lifeguard stand+Craig+Deep Conversation=Amazing

 

Higher than best.

Ohheybestfriend

Devotions on the lifeguard stand.

DOF.

Love.

These people have my back.

Days Like that Should Last, and Last, and Last

Such a great weekend.  I'm so thankful for my friends. 
So much laughter, so many great conversations, and SO many pictures.
More to come.

For now, I'm just... thankful.

So sorry you don't define me, sorry you don't own me

I decided something this morning.
It's probably something I should have decided a long time ago.
It's not really that revolutionary.
I decided that other people are no longer allowed to manipulate my emotions.
Especially if it's not my fault.
If I ask you something, and you make the answer awkward...
Why should I be up all night worrying about it?
If I am rejected by the world...
Why should that bother me?
I should count it as a blessing when I am persecuted.
I'm not a BarlowGirl fan, but these lyrics from the song "Mirror" were stuck in my head when I woke up.

"So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try"

YOU DO NOT OWN ME.
Some people, might just be jerks.
That is NOT going to effect my daily life and definitely not my walk with Christ.
I'm done with the jerks. They're not going to define me anymore.
They don't own me.
I'm not theirs.
I'm my Daddy's. And He's got my back.

The memories they flood back, from all of our years...

They say history repeats itself.

They're wrong.

They make glib statements like "We'll keep in touch" and "We'll do it again next year."

It's not true.

They say things will never change

"The best laid plans of mice and men...."

Sometimes, they even start to make plans to do it again.

Of course, the plans fail.

They talk about reunions

But they never happen.

Christmas promises

Turn into January tears.

History does not repeat itself.

Memories cannot be recreated.

Things DO change

They're wrong.

And I hate it.