Memories

The strings of my heart- tied all over the world. They're tugged, pulled, yanked. Tugged to Hiawatha: to my fellow staff members, to campers, to more memories than words can express. They're pulled towards Hillsdale County, to Crossroads Farm, to late nights in the car, to my many family members there. The strings of my heart are yanked back to Pucallpa, Peru. Yanked to my Peruvian familia, to the orphans of Aldea Infantil San Juan, to the members of CEMY and Jovenes con Vision, to motocarro rides and meals at C'est si Bon.

It takes so little for a memory to come rushing back. A smell, a song, a taste, a Bible verse, a movie, even hearing spoken Spanish- can all bring back vivid, colorful, intense memories.
I smell smoke and dust and suddenly I'm walking the streets of Pucallpa with Ben, Craig, Azaky, Drake, Ian, Mel, or Kelly. "He Will Carry Me" comes on the radio and I'm back on stage, placing baby Moses in the river of arms doing that motion I still can't do.

We order Subway for dinner and I'm transported back to Reading. To those late nights in Subway, talking and laughing. To the rides home, listening to Yes FM. Singing at the top of our lungs- even though none of us are really singers.

Pastor Brad preaches on Psalm 139. I close my eyes, and I'm back at Hiawatha, surrounded by my closest friends. My arms are raised, tears squeeze through my closed eyes. Such a knowledge is too, wonderful for me/It is too high, for my feeble mind/Where can I go from your Spirit?/Where can I run from Your presence?/If I ascend to the heavens, You are there, You are there/You're rising up in the morning/In a dry and barren land/Leading me, holding me in Your hand/There You are/How wonderful to be where you are. I'm with God. I'm home.

Looking through movies on my computer, I see Son of Rambow. The memories rush back- arguing in the video store, skeptically agreeing after what seems like hours. Come on, don't you trust me? Aren't you always talking about how you trust me? Sitting in my grandparents' living room with two of my closest friends, laughing hysterically.

I can be walking through the mall when I hear somebody speaking Spanish. I strain to listen, hoping I can catch a few words. The language takes me back to my most recent trip to Peru, to the day when God put words in my mouth that I never knew I know. To those ten days of translation and communications. To realizing later that I had communicated full conversations- almost completely in a language I barely speak.

Grilled cheese and tomato soup takes me back in time to the camp dining room. Back to constantly "hitting the jackpot," to debates, arguments, and jokes. Back to laughing, getting mail, and thinking it would never end.

As we sing "He Keeps Me Singing," I picture myself standing between Rocky and Reuben on the platform. I'm one of maybe three staff members who know the song. There's a cheat board in the front row. I remember belting it out loudly, no doubt off-key, yet exuberantly joyful.

Work in Progress- more to come.

The End of Summer

I find that lyrics can more eloquently express my thoughts than I can. These songs sum up my summer fairly well... Once I'm unpacked, I'll post a few excerpts from my summer journal, and a few pictures.

"Summers almost over and I think I'm changing colors,
It's time to lose myself again
Oh and I've been thinking this year
Maybe I'll be something better
Maybe I'll lose some of this selfish skin
Look into the mirror and it all becomes much clearer
I'm not quite who I once was
But I don’t mind these changes that time and age might bring us
As long as it brings me closer to You.
I'm not scared of being what You want me to
Put me together so that I look more like You
I'm not scared of being what You want me to
Put me together so that I look more like You
I'd do anything, yeah I'd do anything"
-Hibernation Pieces, Ruth

"So long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you're gracefully falling away
Hey thanks
Thanks for that summer
It's cold where you're going
I hope that your heart's always warm
I gave you the best
Gave you the best that I have."
-So Long, Sweet Summer; Dashboard Confessional

"Let's have a talk about the good times
But you were always giving in
Let's have a talk about the good times
Boy, you were only giving in
The summer is over and I doubt
I doubt I'll be seeing you around
I'll be seeing you around"
-Summer, Man; Taking Back Sunday

"And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
For the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends."
-Friends, Michael W. Smith

"Splashing through the sandbar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life like when and where."
-All Summer Long, Kid Rock *gags*

"Lead me to the cross, where Your love poured out.
Bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down.
Rid me of myself, I belong to You.
Lord lead me, lead me to the cross."
-Lead me to the Cross, Hillsong

"When the oceans rise, and thunders roar
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father, You are King, over the flood
I will be still, Know You are God."
-Oceans Rise, Hillsong

"And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Could You tell me, how could it be, any better, any better than this?
Because You're all I want, You're all I need, You're everything, everything."
-Everything, Lifehouse

"Raise your voice in song!
Sing the whole day long!
Hiawatha, sing of Christ, the truth, the WA-A-A-AY
Let His praises ring *whoop*
To the coming King
Hiawatha, sing of Christ
Who lives todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"
-Hiawatha, Otis Skilling(s?)