Sunday, January 9, 2011

Let's See How Far We've Come

[Typing that title got this song stuck in my head.]


Anyway.  I was reading through an old journal last night (something I do from time to time, when I don't have any books to read at the moment) and came across this poem-written after looking at some childhood photos.  It's from almost exactly a year ago, when I thought nothing would ever get better.  I had lost two close friends, and within a week of its writing, would (temporarily) lose someone I thought I couldn't live without.  It amazes me how clearly I remember writing this, how awful I felt, and how far I've come since then.  God has reshaped and redefined many of my friendships, removed a couple, and--most importantly--reminded me that He is all I truly need.  With the disclaimer out of the way, I'm posting this poem as a reminder... a reminder that God ALWAYS knows what He is doing, and that even when we don't think things will get any better- He knows what will happen.


Oh little girl, with your bad teeth
And stupid glasses
You don't know how lucky you are
Not a care in the world
Always searching for the spotlight
No idea how lucky you are
Your best friend is in your head
He's 18, so he can drive, and he'd never hurt you
You don't understand how luck you are
The only reason for tears is leaving your grandparents
Rejection and loneliness are nothing more than words to sound out
Why can't you see how lucky you are?
Dear little girl, with your sweatpants
And awkward haircut
If only they would tell you how lucky you are
Pain is falling off your bike
Sorrow is flushing your fish down the toilet
Soak in how lucky you are
You don't know the difference between doctrine and a doctor
You just want the waitress to know about Jesus
Oh, sweet little girl, how lucky you are
You never doubt yourself, you always want to be first
No one has ever let you feel anything less than worthy
Oh, my dear, how lucky you are
Your parents know everything, why wouldn't they?
Your tears-only because of physical pain-have no reason to be hidden
Why can't you see how incredibly lucky you are?
Dear sweet little girl, oh awkward little girl
They should have told you what was coming
So that you could appreciate how lucky you are
Those things you take for granted?
They're going to crumble
Friendships, confidence, emotions, sleep...
You'll try to remind yourself how lucky you are
You'll sit awake at 3 am, tears streaming
Abandoned, lonely, confused, and deserted
Wishing you still felt how lucky you are
That imaginary friend has been replaced by real ones
Who rip your heart out and step on it
Now look how lucky you are
Your parents no longer know everything
Your home sometimes feels much more like prison
You can't recall how lucky you are
You'll scream out to God for some vestige of hope
Something to cling to like a life raft
Anything to remind you how lucky you are
My dear little girl, soak it in
The glasses, sweatpants, and awkward hair
Oh, how lucky you are
Your confidence, your obnoxious ways
You're so naive, so content to be yourself
You have no idea how lucky you are
Soak it in, sweet little girl
Soon, you'll be crying in your bed
Writing poems about the time when you didn't realize
How lucky you were

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