New!

I re-did my blog. Possibly for the first time ever.. I don't remember exactly.

Our Song is the Slamming Screen Door

People I've been incredibly thankful for in the past two weeks... and what they've done to make me feel better:

Kaylie Rae has been here for me forever and ever, but especially in this wretchedness. Midnight texts, 9am phone calls, and laughter through the tears... how I love her.

Jared Philip has also been pretty amazing. It's always good to gain some perspective on things. Thanksgiving breakfast, Skype chats, long phone calls, and completely inappropriate jokes... he's managed to make me smile quite a few times.

Jennette, aka Jenney is one of the best pen pals anyone could ever have. I can't believe it's going on ten years. A listening ear (or reading eyes?), letters with doodles on them, and incredibly strict Photoshop requests have all managed to distract me at least a little.

Craig[er] is the other best pen pal anyone could ever have. Prayers, advice, and asking the hard questions... he's just been there.

Kelly Brett knows how to answer the hard questions. He accepted an apology for a foolish reaction, and went on to walk me through my responsibilities in this whole wretched situation.

Stephen Lee isn't always the most comfortable with emotion and advice... but he was willing to listen and to talk. Proverbs 15:8, offering to be an intermediary if needed, and being honest about when the conversation needed to end... I'm so thankful for him.


It's good to have friends. I really wish I had a picture of all of these people together that I could end the post with it... but they're completely scattered. Hillsdale, Dowagiac, GI, California, Wisconsin, Big Rapids... yeah.

Thank the Lord

Thank the Lord for TRUE friends, saving grace, and penpals. Not necessarily in that particular order.

The last few days...

Highs...
-Family Thanksgiving
-Thanksgiving breakfast with my best.
-easy days at work, despite the busyness.
-Jared and Molly coming to family Thanksgiving.
-Proverbs 15:8 [and long overdue deep conversations]
-There's a rhino in my house!
-apologizing for overreacting.
-working out a meeting with the Hobson side.
-hugs from my whole family.
-A random after-dinner walk with Dawn, Nate, and Aunt Janice
-pizza for dinner.

-"free day."

I love my cousins

Lows...
-Wednesday morning.
-driving while it's pouring rain and I'm sobbing. I'm sure that was safe.
-walking into class after barely composing myself, only to have Cory's "You look like you just lost your best friend" set me off again.
-Not getting the work call until AFTER I had made plans for tomorrow
-Having to cancel the plans for tomorrow.
-Driving in the dark, fog, and pouring rain. While sobbing. Again. I'm sure that was REALLY safe.
-Not being able to listen to Taking Back Sunday anymore, because it makes me too sad.
-thinking about the awkwardness that is going to be next Friday.
-"Why do you sound sick?"

I need a hug.

What Terrible Company, With Zero Apologies

So. Apparently when I'm upset, I clean. And I clean well. I forgot that I took pictures of my room last Sunday. :)

My new desk... heater... bulletin board... bookshelf that contains no books

My couch and bookshelf.

And my bed... the most comfortable place in the world :)

There, killing two birds with one stone. Now Jenney has "seen" where I live... and my room is clean.
I like Underoath.
10 days!

A Week Later

Ouch.

I Will Fight this War Forever, or Until I Die.

The wretched: The worst part is how you don't even care. You're leaving me, your best friend. You're leaving your boyfriend. You're leaving your FAMILY. Because, no matter how much you try to deny it, a church is a FAMILY. You're divorcing us all, and there is no easy divorce. You remain apathetic at best about the whole situation. Possibly even slightly happy. And it hurts, so bad. It's like a hole, punched right in my chest.

The good: I have Jesus. I have my family. I have Kaylie. I have Jared. I worked my butt off at the studio today, to keep from thinking. I got my Tooth and Nail vs. Solid State CD. It's almost Thanksgiving. Which means it's almost Christmas.