I've got to put a stop to all this, to all this being separated and then cut off.

Note: The "you"s in this particular post refer to SO MANY incredibly different people... that it's probably best if you don't analyze it too much. I just need to get this all out...
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When I opened the fridge today, I saw the bottle. It's been in there since June, but today I had to move it to make more room. Guaraná. I was saving it... for our reunion. You know, the one I've been planning in my brain since the last one ended. We were going to break trees, and hide in the woods when cars went by, and look at thousands of pictures from everything that's happened since the last time. We were going to laugh and talk. You were going to pass massive amounts of gas and blame it on the cat. Plans change. You've changed. I've changed. You don't have time for that now. You've got other priorities. I am no longer on the list of people you have to care about. I don't even know it you'll read this. And apparently it's time for me to drink that Guaraná already... by myself.

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I need you to need me as much as I need you. I can't bear the thought that someday I might wake up, and you'll just be gone. I can't handle it. At all. Everytime I think about it, my chest feels like there's an elephant sitting on it.. my head spins, and I can't breathe. Don't you dare go anywhere.
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It's not the same when you're not there. Who do I roll my eyes at when he says "lady gaGAH?" Who do I laugh with? Who do I talk to? Who do I sit by? Who do I pass notes to? No one. And they wonder why I'm in a bad mood, why I don't feel well. Deduce, Sherlock.
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It's not the actual getting married that I'm sad about. It's the fact that I'm losing another close friend... I can't keep being friends with you once you're married to her. Sure, she's great, and I'm glad you're in love... but girls and guys can't continue to be good friends when one of them is married. It just doesn't work.
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Well. that feels mildly better.